Life. I think.

This is getting tough. but it's making me realise a lot of stuff about me, and about the people around me, and what I want, and what I don't want.

I've realised that i do trust my own judgement. until someone questions it. That i am pretty strong, and pretty smart, and pretty damn competent. despite what some people believe. I realised that I trust myself enough to be able to ignore those people, but that I'm not immune to the hurt of their lack of faith.

I realised that the people nearest to me, who care, will do anything in their power to make my life good. that I'm not imposing, or inconveniencing, that they want to help me because they know implicitly that i would do everything in my power to make their lives better.

I also realised that there are extremely negative people close to me, but that it's not fair or right for them to vent their own anger, disappointment, and regret, on me. I don't deserve it, it's not my fault, and I don't have to assume responsibility for it.

I want independence, I want to do what I want with myself, my life, and my money. I do not want to be beholden to anyone, I do not want to become embittered, I do not want to suffer material or emotional poverty.

I'm tired, really tired. So I'll stop rambling.

I just want the next two months to be over.