Oh Nando Torres let me count the ways i love thee.

I love your choice of evening entertainment

"At home, we spend time playing board games with friends and family. When it comes to Monopoly, Scatergory, or Hotel, there are real battles. For a change, we sometimes play cards,"

that you watch Supernanny and a show about puppy training.

"Television is an alternative and I like to be up to date with what’s going on in the world, and not just the sports news. My favourite programmes are ‘The Dog Whisperer’ and ‘Super Nanny’"

I love that Ikea is your therapy

“My determination to finish the job off meant that one night in 2007 I didn’t finish until the small hours. I had come home in a bad mood after we had lost 1-0 at home to Olympic Marseilles in the Champions League. I decided the best way to work the frustration out of my system was to put together two pieces of furniture for the living room. By the time I had finished it was 4am."

and that you're horrified by chavs lack of thermal understanding

"One thing that does surprise me is that no one seems to wear a coat. Everyone is done up and dressed to impress but few of them wrap up warm, even though the temperature can’t be much above freezing."

I love that all you really want to do is hang out with your wife and maybe go watch a match in the pub

"One of my favourite moments each day, matches permitting, is the evening stroll with Olalla (my wife) and our two dogs. ...One thing that I would like to do is watch a game in the pub. Everyone tells me about the passion with which fans follow matches between pints"

Could this be perfection? maybe so.

From The Mirror's exclusive 'My Secrets' by Fernando Torres